Relationship

Why Am I Still Single?

It’s the lonely girl’s lament: if I’m such a catch, then why am I still single? You could be making yourself unavailable without even realizing it. Read this and find out what you may inadvertently be doing, and how you can meet your mate.

So what am I doing wrong?
That question itself may be your problem.  You may not be feeling very self-assured in your ability to attract, and keep, a mate.  This brings us to our first topic, as written by relationship expert Rita Templeton.

1. Confidence.

Ask almost anyone, and they’ll unanimously agree: confidence is sexy.  (Confidence, not cockiness or arrogance … there is a difference.)  If you aren’t confident, you may come across as needy, insecure and even (gasp!) desperate, a sure-fire recipe to attract the wrong kind of person.  And if you don’t change that about yourself, you’ll fall repeatedly into the same patterns, dating the same schmuck in a different package.
There are many things you shouldn’t fake (we won’t go into details here, but I presume you know at least one of them) but confidence is one thing that, if you feel you’re lacking, is okay to fudge.  In fact, pretending that you’re confident can actually help you be more confident.  Think about it: if you keep your cool outwardly, nobody can know that on the inside, you’re shaking like a leaf.  Start out with baby steps; flash someone a friendly smile or a wave.  Keep your chin held high and your posture straight. You don’t have to charge into a room yelling, “The party is here!  … Bintaaaa, good to see ya, Baby!” in order to appear self-assured.
Changing your physical appearance can do a lot to boost your self-confidence. We’ve all seen those miraculous makeover shows where the ugly duckling is turned into a swan and cries about how much her life has changed for the better. But there’s only so much you can do to improve your outside. According to Relationship Expert and Life Coach Shari Mindlen, M.B.A., “Rather than buying new clothes, getting a facial, a new haircut or a new car to change your image, do some ‘self’ work on the inside to really make some permanent and effective changes. Fixing the outside is just putting a Band-Aid on your problems. ‘Self’ work creates real solutions and real change in yourself and your behaviour. ‘Self’ work means doing some things to increase your self-esteem, improve your self-confidence, give you more self-respect, and have more self-assurance. You need more of these in order to attract emotionally available and emotionally healthy partners and to have a successful, healthy relationship.”  Instead of beating themselves up and constantly asking, “What am I doing wrong?” confident people ask themselves what they need to change in order to get what they want.  And that is the perfect segue into our next topic …

There are couple of topics to answer your touching question ‘Why Am I Still Single?’ The hard copy of the maiden edition of Elegance magazine will expand these topics to give all the answers you need to clear out of this cloud of why and why are men not attracted to me… The topics range from attitude to self-esteem and to few common dating mistakes, as well as ways to find that special someone … or at least a good date.

There’s one sad truth in life I’ve found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Oh, the comfort – the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person – having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.
~Dinah Craik, A Life for a Life, 1859

Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky.
~Rainer Maria Rilke

You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.
~Wayne W. Dyer

We are, many of us, a planet orbiting somebody’s sun, unconscious of a lonely moon, orbiting our planet.
~Robert Brault

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.
~From the movie Annie